14

Last month my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. We've never been huge on celebrations. We may go out to eat, catch a movie- something like that. We did get away without the boys for a weekend to celebrate our 10th. The more I think about marriage and what all it entails- how amazingly wonderful it can be and how crazy difficult it can be at other times- I think every single anniversary year needs to be celebrated.
If anyone had asked me during our first year of marriage if Jim and I would make it to fourteen, I don't know that my answer would have been a very confident "yes." In fact, I was a bit skeptical at times that we'd make it to two. To be fair, it was a stressful beginning. My dad died in May, my grandmother in August, and we got married and moved to Asheville, NC in September. I had a difficult time finding a job in my field and because we were young and just married, we had ZERO money so I took a job as a teller at a bank in Black Mountain, NC. I'm not knocking being a bank teller. There is not a thing wrong with that occupation. It just wasn't what I wanted to do and my life at that point was turning into a lot of not what I wanted to do.
I was MISERABLE in Asheville. Jim traveled a lot with his job and when he wasn't doing that, he was traveling to Raleigh every weekend for this study course for his Professional Engineers license. I knew absolutely no one and if you know me, you know I'm not hugely outgoing so making friends wasn't easy for me. And in the whole year we were there, I only had two visitors from home. I was very lonely. I was not nice to Jim. Looking back at it, I am amazed (well not really because he is a Godly man) that he stuck it out with me.
But he did and here we are fourteen years later- perfectly happy, never a cross word, just wonderful wedded bliss... and if you believe that well, I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona. ;) Marriage is hard work. Aside from parenting which was an eye opener too, I don't think there is anything more difficult. I'm not a huge Dr. Phil fan but he made a comment on one of his shows a long time ago that has stuck with me. He said, "If young couples put as much effort into planning for the actual marriage as they did for the wedding ceremony and reception, the results might be better." You know what I mean. One minute you're dating, all happy and in love- he's opening doors for you, planning romantic dates specifically catered to your likes, hanging on your every word and you say "I do" then BAM!... you're washing his underwear, wondering how someone could spend that much money on a DVD player, and certain that your words that ring in his ears sound like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoon. You get my point. :)
Its work- its compromise- its hills and valleys. And there are gonna be rough spots- some rougher than others. You pray a lot! :) You get through them- maybe not always with the grace you'd like but you get through and come out stronger on the other side. I thank the Lord every day for Him leading me to Jim. We've had our share of ups and downs, crazy differences of opinions, and heated discussions (some ending in all out yelling at the top of our lungs.) And I'm certain we will have all of that again. Had we given up at the first sign of trouble-- well lets just say that we might have rivaled Britney Spears record for the shortest marriage.
So for what its worth, here are fourteen things some funny, some serious that we've learned over the last fourteen years...

1. Jim's idea of clean is NOT the same (not even remotely close) as mine.
2. It is better for me to walk away when we have a heated discussion than to stay and say something I know will be hurtful and unfair (such a weakness of mine).
3. Jim knows that I am NOT a morning person and its NOT a good idea to talk to me before I've had a cup of coffee.
4. I know that when he has been unusually quiet there is something wrong and I also know I will have to ask numerous times with the repeated answer of "Nothing" until I finally get the reason.
5. The big tooth is an off limits topic.
6. He made it 25 years without having me have to tell him what to do and how to do it, he can make it another 25 without that too. :)
7. If I see a movie with him there will always be the risk of him cackling like a hyena at a scene NO ONE else in the entire theater thinks is funny. (And Avery has the same sense of humor)
8. I am NOT always right. (sigh)
9. He's learned that there is no right or good answer to, "Do you think I'm fat? or Have I gained weight?"
10. You do NOT toss 20 year old concert shirts- even if they are three sizes smaller than what he wears now- don't do it!
11. If I want him to be the leader of our household, spiritual and otherwise, I HAVE to step back and give him the opportunity.
12. Sometimes you have to say your sorry even when its not your fault.
13. Forgiveness means not bringing it back up again-- not even when you're angry and everything in you wants to pull up every hurtful thing for the past oh umm 14 years (yeah- another thing I'm working on and God's working on me)
14. And finally- God meant for us to be together and there isn't anything that we can't make it through together.

Happy 14th Harvey!

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38

Thirty eight..... 38.....almost 4 decades...been out of high school for 20 years.... out of college for 16.... have an eight year old...married for almost 14...
No matter how you phrase it, 38 years is a long time. I joke a lot about my younger years. Its true I have more wrinkles and a few more pounds with my advancing years. I was asking myself last night, if I could go back would I? If I could time travel back to 1993, college graduation day and relive the past 16 years would I take that opportunity?
Sure there are many things I remember fondly about those years. It was nice to not have any responsibility. It was awesome to be a size 6. It was amazing to feel like at that moment I had the world at my fingertips and the opportunities were endless. I was passionate about saving the world. I left WKU with my little degree and was determined to help people- to make a difference. My mom and dad were still here on this Earth with me. I could go on and on about all the positives that time in my life held for me. I could also go on and on about all the things I would change. But would I go back?
Not a chance!
I'll take my husband and two beautiful boys, my mortgage, my bills, my extra pounds and wrinkles, and my thirty eight year old self over my younger one any day. I'm still passionate about saving the world only on a different level now. :) The experiences in my life whether good or bad have led me to the person I am today and while I'm still a work in progress far from perfect (and never will be), I love me and my life. The Lord has worked on me through the years and there's still a lot left to do but I wouldn't trade where I am in my walk with Him today for younger years. Time has weeded out acquaintances I thought were real friends and left me with true and deep bonds of friendships with people who have stood beside me through the good times and the ugly (and there have been some ugly times). Experiences and wisdom that come with age have allowed me to let go of self consciousness and embrace personality traits in myself that I once prayed would change.
So today I count my many blessings and I thank the Lord that I am His daughter; Jim, Harve, James, Jimmy, Mike's wife; Avery and Aidan's mother; and Bob and Joyce's daughter. I am humbled and touched beyond expression at the many people I get to call friends, best friend, and family. And I love you all!!!!
38

In The Blink of an Eye- First Day of Third Grade

First Day Of Kindergarten

First Day of First Grade

First Day of Second Grade

First Day of Third Grade

5

Happy Birthday my sweet five year old boy!

Yearbook Yourself

1950's me

1960's me

1964

1966

1968

1978

1982

1992

1996

2000

This is hilarious! Go to www.yearbookyourself.com, upload a picture of yourself, click on the year you are looking for, and adjust your photo to fit the picture. You can choose from the 1950's on up to 2000.Above are a few of mine ...

Happy Birthday

My mom's senior picture

My mom and dad all cute and in love.

My mom on the ONLY ride she would ever ride at Opryland (the train!).

My mom's first trip to the beach.

One of the most precious pictures I have. My mom was terrified of the water but was willing to walk this close to the ocean because sweet little Avery wanted her to.

My mom holding Aidan at the hospital.

Momma and Aidan

Mom and her sisters and brother at her last birthday celebration on this Earth.

Today is my mom's birthday. Thinking about my mom this morning, I had to smile. I have this mental picture of my mom sharing a piece of birthday cake with Jesus and my daddy. And then I see my mom asking if anyone wants another piece and my dad and Jesus saying, "No," but then my mom continuing to ask until they take another piece. :) Happy Birthday Momma!